My birthday post (this is uber late!!) it is better late than sorry
I celebrated my 26th birthday exactly 20 days ago. Yearly, I realized that there is one lesson contributed to my years of existence. Most of these lessons are based from my own experience. This year, it was different. Luckily, a woman I know that much told me a story that I can’t help but paid attention to. Incidents that happen to her in nearly 3 years made her a better woman—maybe a stronger woman that can be called “a woman of substance”.
He met a guy last 2006 and they hit it off. I can say that she was sincere when she told me how happy she was spending time with *Robert. Most of the time, they update what’s happening with their lives. *Mena might be at ease telling Robert stories like how her day went, what did she do on a weekend (this includes: shopping with friends, out-of-town trips, or simply a movie she had seen with family). The usual stuff that two person might talk about especially when they were still in “getting to know stage”. Whew. Mushy? Yeah, I had my fair share of the stories she once shred with us. How her eyes light whenever she mentions the name “Robert”. What her Robert did the other day or what was the update given to her on their normal 1 hour phone call. They seem to look happy and in-love? I don’t have the faintest clue with that. I didn’t dare ask Mena what she truly feels back then.
But things changes, as the world turns on its axis—definitely we are moving forward to something that is synonymous to 'change'. Change is constant; we admit this since we knew that world is unfair at times. We have been so unreasonable with the hints given to us, we chose to close our eyes instead and when the point in time comes that we cannot take it anymore, we got hurt because we let ourselves to get hurt. Same thing happened to Mena, she forced herself to be someone whom she is not when he doesn’t have Robert yet in her life. Robert has the weirdest stuff stored in his mind. I swear! He might look and act as if he came from another world that we never thought that exist. Mena and him are complete opposite. Mena is outgoing, fun, friendly, and willing to learn. Robert on the other hand is jaded. He even thought that reading a fictional book is a no-no. If I was in Mena’s shoes that time, man I will say right away, “libro mo?” Nakakaasar talaga.
Now, Mena is free and I am happy for her. Call me bad, mean, terrible—any synonym that you can think right now! I will accept but for sure you will understand why. Let me share my point of view on this.
Mena was nice enough not to tell Robert how boring he is. No, seriously. If I was her, I wouldn’t come up to his face and say “Boring, so boring!” What I will do is tell him to try things and not be judgmental. Opening our mind to something new wouldn’t hurt. It’s like seeing what it’s all about and it’s up to you if you want to welcome a possible change or not. We are not kids anymore; we have our brain to use. Like what I have written in my old post “God placed the brain on top so it will govern everything under it”. This includes our heart. A relationship will not last or work if we will use our fragile heart all the time. It is still best to use our ruling and weigh things. My friend just tiried to work things out, but Robert was such a frail guy. He thought of himself as someone who must be superior on their relationship but it should not be like that. The guy must respect the girl if she asked for some space, there is a reason behind (that) and you will know when time comes. You must be patience to wait and not say hurtful words right away.
I learned from someone’s story is stick with what you feel is right. Open-mind in a relationship is very healthy. Luckier girl I am with these things that I haven’t had to get through just to save a relationship. Knowing your self is important. List your own rules. If anytime by now Mena is reading this, I will share with her my own list that I wasn't able to do when he still have Robert in her life.
· No name calling.
· Don’t see each other everyday.
· Going to church together.
· Discussing issues if both parties are calm.
· Tell your partner all the stuff you want to share.
· Do not force yourself to say something if you cannot.
· Find time to spend with your friends without him/her.
With all these being said, I am no expert but I know what I want. My pasts relationships ended but still I am friends with them. We still hang out with our friends and communication didn’t stop. Feeling ko blessed ako to have someone by my side for years were we feel so protective of one another. No other guy could be as sweet, caring and lovable like him.
I celebrated my 26th birthday exactly 20 days ago. Yearly, I realized that there is one lesson contributed to my years of existence. Most of these lessons are based from my own experience. This year, it was different. Luckily, a woman I know that much told me a story that I can’t help but paid attention to. Incidents that happen to her in nearly 3 years made her a better woman—maybe a stronger woman that can be called “a woman of substance”.
He met a guy last 2006 and they hit it off. I can say that she was sincere when she told me how happy she was spending time with *Robert. Most of the time, they update what’s happening with their lives. *Mena might be at ease telling Robert stories like how her day went, what did she do on a weekend (this includes: shopping with friends, out-of-town trips, or simply a movie she had seen with family). The usual stuff that two person might talk about especially when they were still in “getting to know stage”. Whew. Mushy? Yeah, I had my fair share of the stories she once shred with us. How her eyes light whenever she mentions the name “Robert”. What her Robert did the other day or what was the update given to her on their normal 1 hour phone call. They seem to look happy and in-love? I don’t have the faintest clue with that. I didn’t dare ask Mena what she truly feels back then.
But things changes, as the world turns on its axis—definitely we are moving forward to something that is synonymous to 'change'. Change is constant; we admit this since we knew that world is unfair at times. We have been so unreasonable with the hints given to us, we chose to close our eyes instead and when the point in time comes that we cannot take it anymore, we got hurt because we let ourselves to get hurt. Same thing happened to Mena, she forced herself to be someone whom she is not when he doesn’t have Robert yet in her life. Robert has the weirdest stuff stored in his mind. I swear! He might look and act as if he came from another world that we never thought that exist. Mena and him are complete opposite. Mena is outgoing, fun, friendly, and willing to learn. Robert on the other hand is jaded. He even thought that reading a fictional book is a no-no. If I was in Mena’s shoes that time, man I will say right away, “libro mo?” Nakakaasar talaga.
Now, Mena is free and I am happy for her. Call me bad, mean, terrible—any synonym that you can think right now! I will accept but for sure you will understand why. Let me share my point of view on this.
Mena was nice enough not to tell Robert how boring he is. No, seriously. If I was her, I wouldn’t come up to his face and say “Boring, so boring!” What I will do is tell him to try things and not be judgmental. Opening our mind to something new wouldn’t hurt. It’s like seeing what it’s all about and it’s up to you if you want to welcome a possible change or not. We are not kids anymore; we have our brain to use. Like what I have written in my old post “God placed the brain on top so it will govern everything under it”. This includes our heart. A relationship will not last or work if we will use our fragile heart all the time. It is still best to use our ruling and weigh things. My friend just tiried to work things out, but Robert was such a frail guy. He thought of himself as someone who must be superior on their relationship but it should not be like that. The guy must respect the girl if she asked for some space, there is a reason behind (that) and you will know when time comes. You must be patience to wait and not say hurtful words right away.
I learned from someone’s story is stick with what you feel is right. Open-mind in a relationship is very healthy. Luckier girl I am with these things that I haven’t had to get through just to save a relationship. Knowing your self is important. List your own rules. If anytime by now Mena is reading this, I will share with her my own list that I wasn't able to do when he still have Robert in her life.
· No name calling.
· Don’t see each other everyday.
· Going to church together.
· Discussing issues if both parties are calm.
· Tell your partner all the stuff you want to share.
· Do not force yourself to say something if you cannot.
· Find time to spend with your friends without him/her.
With all these being said, I am no expert but I know what I want. My pasts relationships ended but still I am friends with them. We still hang out with our friends and communication didn’t stop. Feeling ko blessed ako to have someone by my side for years were we feel so protective of one another. No other guy could be as sweet, caring and lovable like him.
*names were changed on this entry. to my friend who agree and trusted me to write this, thank you.
in every relationship tama talaga na meron respeto sa bawat isa. mali yung magbabago ka para sa ka partner mo.
ReplyDelete