CHRISTIAN COURTING

Finally! After a year (You can read it here.) I'm writing something about Christian Courting. From the previous posts I had, I admittedly mentioned that I am not in the position to write something about this for one reason: I am not dating, yet.

 

There are no rules, I would say but it is more of respect. Respect for each other's feelings. Don't you want to make everything clear for both of you so it will be less of a hassle and less complicated? It's a tough course of action whenever you are mustering the guts on how you will tell a girl that you like her and have plans to pursue her because she is worth pursuing. Maybe to further elaborate this, I strongly suggest that you may want to read this link instead, and there are links that will be helpful, too!

 

As a Christian girl's POV, I'd rather hear what the boy (what a term!) would want from me. Why are you asking me for coffee or you just simply want to hang out during our free time? Why would you want to drive me home ensuring my safety? (Well, I'm thankful for this gesture because safety is something I cannot exchange for hiya especially if we will be coming from Eastwood or somewhere pretty far from where I live. Aba! Nag offer naman, so go na diba? Choosy pa ba? Haha! Those nonstop conversation you always have (from Good Morning to Good Night) despite the busy schedules you both have, you still inject the time to text/call each other daily. Well, I don't call (by the way) because I want to leave that to the guy for one reason, I don't want to bother anyone :) it's more of being reserve, if that's the right term for that.

 

Another thing for the gents is meeting the girl's family, like hello? Considering that you guys are "friends lang" stage eventhough the treatment you are giving is somehow doubtful at times, then why are you doing it? Have you thought of this at one point, like if you are doing it more often than not then the action you're doing is telling the girl something, yet it's confusing her because there is no a solid justification as to why you're doing that.

 

If all these are consistent between a lady and a gent, then how will you justify the actions then? Is it really "friends lang stage" or buti sana if ma-label pa yan in the long run. What is my point? Set it up straight, after all you are the man and you have the accountability to say what you want to tell to the woman you're spending all these effort for. I'm not saying you take full accountability, because it will always be a teamwork if you both decided to take it to the next level. If the girl says NO, then respect the decision she has for you, but if you got a validation that you can court her, then your work is about to begin and mind you: there will be a LOT of work that needs to be done.

 

I'm no expert, but I'm neither dense nor numb for me not to be able to understand the actions from the opposite sex. In a lighter way to put it into writing, WE as women - we just have to wait. Sorry gents!! But yes, we cannot ASSUME unless otherwise STATED, right? We don't want to get comments from you guys that we are "feelingera" or assuming even if the actions you are doing is clear on us. Still, we will not think that it is really what you mean regardless how OBVIOUS it is.

 

This set-up is really risky, and it will lead doors for chaos in the future. Chaos talaga? Lol. But seriously, guys has the tendency to make "bakod" and you will all act so jealous when the girl started entertaining or at least being friends with another guy. Again, the girl does not have the faintest clue of what you feel for her, maybe, just maybe she thinks that based on your actions, you are being nice to her or you are just a gentleman :) Nothing more, nothing less. If this happens, then there lies the problem. Again, magulo na. Since there is no label between the two of you of what the real status is. Ayan, buti sana if ma-label pa pag magulo na. When this happens, I'm sure that one of you (or both) will get hurt since there is already feelings involve. Sometimes, being quiet will definitely not resolve the situation but worsen it.

 

Don't ask me how to deal with this kind of situation because I really don't know. First, I am not confrontational thus, asking the guy what he meant with his actions to clarify the kind of "relationship" you both have at the moment will never happen. Are you guys are: just friends, special friends, MU (Magulong Usapan, lol! Mutual Understanding), or simply "wala lang".

 

Then how to resolve the issue, then?

 

Let's put it this way...

 

I just have 2 requirements if I will ever date someone. (1) He must be a Christian. (2) He is not married. If one is not present, ay instant off-limits na yan! What I'm pointing is, I don't want to settle for the "pwede na yan" since each and everyone of us has a price that God paid. If God doesn't love you, then you will not be free from the sins. With his undying love, He had prepared a partner for you. So pray for him/her, discern and if you need to fast then so be it - do it. Praying and Fasting really works, but just a few notes in fasting: it is not as simple as abstaining from food, but there can be a lot of ways to fast (giving up something in order to use the time in praying more) And if you do so, keep it to yourself :) the reason why you fast is for you to pray for what your heart is seeking. There is no set timeframe as to when will this run, in the Bible there are a lot of stories about fasting with as short as 3 days and as long as 40 days. It is up to you, talk to God and I'm sure He will reveal it to you if He is leading you to prayer and fasting.

 

Why do I want to choose a Christian rather than a non-believer? The answer is simple, because I love God more than him (whoever that man will be) and I'm praying that he loves God more than me as well, para MU haha! Mutual Understanding that it will be God first before everything else.

 

I had this conversation with my Mom over breakfast earlier (uhmm that was my 2nd breakfast for the day because I had 3 haha!) that it will be best to end up with someone from the church. Basically for one reason, so both of you understand your service for God. Another thing is, it is a lot happier to be with someone who shares the same values and passion with you. No more explanation like "I can't go out with you on that day because we have ___ (insert your church activity here)" It will be a lot nicer if you both serve God together, I just find it more nakaka-kilig! Bonus na if you will come from the same church, though I'm not closing my door for someone who is not from the same church I go to. What matters to me is, both of you serve the same God. Though I may say, this is a bit challenging (if this is the right term) because you have differences, thus it will open room for exchanging of thoughts, POVs, etc. But don't get me wrong, I am born Catholic yet I have friends who are Christians. The point is, it's not religion that matters, as long as you share the same values, teachings and learning - there's no harm that I can foresee coming then.

 

In a nutshell, the person whom you will call "The Second One" since God will always be your "The One" dapat, he/she will be the reason for you to fall in love with Jesus even more everyday. While I'm writing that part, I have thought of someone who was the reason why I fell in love with Jesus because of the time he made me to spend more time with God. Thank you! And yes, that's you :)

 

I'm probably been blabbing pretty long now, so I'm capping this post. I'll just have to write another part of this topic hopefully early next week. But for now, I will leave this with you:

 

If you think only for your own benefits why you want to be in a relationship (sex, companion, etc.) then you are doing it wrong. It should be a selfless reason like you want to be with the person to help him/her grow, support him/her on whatever weakness may arise, and most of all - be the person's PRAYER WARRIOR (Coming from personal experience, and I'm not shy to admit it publicly)

 

P.S: Didn't mean to overuse the word "action" for this post :)