STATUS:SINGLE

Sorry for the backlog, but this is a post of what happened on the Status:Single talk I went to two weeks (or was it 3 weeks already?) Pardon me that this took longer than expected to be put in writing, too many werk (work). But as the saying go “It’s better late than never” so with no further ado, here are some of the questions I managed (gulp!) to answer in the most appropriate way that I could think of that time.

 

Just an overview, Status:Single is a one night event that ran for 3 hours were the participants are single men and women ages 18-40 years old. Until now, I couldn’t believe why a good friend of mine asked me to give my 2 cents on the topic. First, I am not knowledgeable in subject, thus which makes me less confident to talk in front of the crowd that I haven’t met yet. Second, my life’s experiences though it was all sum up – still it will not be enough for me to get certified and do my talk. When I first got the invitation, I was really, really diffident! I don’t have any hosting gig (fine, I mean hosting this kind of event) and my comprehension in the Bible is not that solid compared to those who work in the ministry. Yes, I do read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and do my own studies but I still lack the familiarity needed. Whenever I sit down and listen to those preachers, I’m always left in awe because they really know and did study the words of God! I wanted to be like that, because it’s happy to know and reveal the words of God ensuring how much He loves us.

I did share some insights which was actually found in my previous entries (Christian Courting, Single and Ready to Mingle and The One). The highlight was the question and answer portion, which I find very pageant like. Hehe! I’m sharing some of the questions I got.

 

“What is your thought on first kiss or kiss is acceptable while still dating?” / “What is your take on kissing before marriage?”

Jam: As guy, it is really hard to control your emotion especially if you are head over heels in love with your girlfriend. It is more of respect, really. If she doesn’t want to be kissed yet – respect her and don’t let this be the reason why your love for her will be lessen.

 

Lexi: In Genesis, Jacob kissed Rachel and Rachel wept. We do not know where exactly he kissed her. In my own POV, peck on the cheek will be okay but kiss on the lips while not yet married is not strongly recommended. Because if you do, you might be comfortable with one another and this may open the doors leading to temptation. As what Galatians 5:16 “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” So pray and avoid staying late or in one room. Okay? Besides, you may want to feel the excitement when the priest says “You may now kiss the bride.”

 

“If the guy is not clear on his actions, should we avoid them until they speak up?”

Jam: The challenges of most guys are the guts they need to collect before they can talk to the girl. Even if we know and 100% sure that the girl likes us too, still that is not a guarantee that we will say it right away. Most of the time, we want to spend time first and be friends with her and know her better. So be patient if your object of affection is not yet telling you what he means but just throwing you tell-tale signs how he likes you. Hintay lang ng konti, baka torpe rin katulad ko. Hehe!

 

Lexi: First, I want to protest on Jam’s take of himself that he is torpe. Parang hindi naman. Hehe. I guess there is nothing wrong if you will avoid the person for the interim. I did it myself because I don’t want further confusions; when you do that make sure that you use the time to pray for clarification, guidance and patience ha? Not to complicate things up ha?

 

“What is the acceptable length of courtship?”

Jam: There is no such thing as “long” or “short” in pursuing the girl you like. In my humble opinion, if you are clear with your intentions, then this will not be an issue bro. Like what Lexi mentioned earlier about Jacob and Rachel, in addition to that, Jacob did serve Rachel’s family for 7 years. Imagine, 7 years and that’s solid courtship.

 

Lexi: May timetable talaga? Ano ito may metered taxi na naghihintay? For me, it doesn’t matter if it will take 1 year or less. I guess, the real point of courtship is getting to know if you will help one another especially in spiritual aspect.

 

“Pag may nanliligaw na sa iyo, okay lang ba na mag entertain pa rin ng ibang nanliligaw?”

 

Jam: I think I will leave the floor to Lexi to answer. But in my judgment, okay lang siguro, a little competition is healthy.

Lexi: I don’t see anything wrong with this naman, as long as wala ka naman “solid” na sinabihan na exclusively lang kayo until mag date kayo, then that is fine. But I have to warn you that this is not easy, but it can be a little complicated at times. You need to make sure how you treat one from another, meaning dapat pantay-pantay ha? Kasi if not, then it will give meaning to the other and he may even take it in a way na naka-bakod na siya. Ingat kasi you don’t want to give the impression na you’re in the playing field.

 

“Is religion an important thing in a relationship?”

Jam: For me, as long as both of you grow individually, it’s perfectly fine. After all, there is no rule as far as I know that Christians cannot date non-Christians and vice-versa. But if your dating leads to courtship, which actually was your main goal, then ibang usapan na yan.

 

Lexi: I came and grew up in a family with different religions. My Dad is a Christian while my Mom is a Catholic. I guess, this is one of a few cases na never nagging issue ang religion. With regard to what Jam said, it’s a tough decision if it will lead to marriage. But from what I can see, based on my friends who got married, they followed their groom-to-be’s and was converted. I don’t see anything wrong with that, as far as I know, the Bible tells us about this. Ephesians 5:22 “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”

 

Quotable Quotes worth sharing

“being single means you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”

 

“there’s a purpose to every failed relationship, the purpose isn’t to encourage you to lower your expectations, but to raise your standards.”
 

“love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.”

 

“significant other – non-committed, yet shows absolute interest in someone.”