10 QUALITIES TO CONSIDER BEFORE DATING THAT GUY

Starting this post with a high note; my personal list of non-negotiable qualities on my view of what husband material should be like. Yes, feel na feel ko ang list ko kaya single pa rin ako until now. Bwahahaha!! Kidding aside, like any girls out there, I also went through tough pruning process for me to understand my value and worth why God calls me His Princess; I am complete and lacking nothing - waiting only makes it a lot sweeter.

 

1. Joyfully Single (2 Cor 6:14)

It's heartending to hear someone says "Basta may 5 out of 10 sa list, pwede na yan! Liligawan ko na siya at gusto ko na mag-asawa." If this is how he thinks, then he is a compromiser. He is not happy with his single status, if he always compromise on things it means only one thing - he's bad in making decisions. If a guy is confident that he is loved and accepted by no less than Creator of the Universe, he is secure and sure of his identity with Jesus in every season of his life.

 

2. Sticks to His Standards (Phil 4:8)

Some of the comments I've heard (not too long ago) "Ang mga sisters naman kasi ang taas ng standards! Gusto yata Pastor eh. Makapag-hanap na nga lang ng girl outside church." Just hearing the thought of this makes me want to stamp him right away on his forehead with a BIG X mark and gave him a plaque for being the best candidate for Ditch the Dude award, hehehehe. Once and for all, a confident man simply knows where he stands in the foundation of Jesus whom he sees as a consummate example of excellence, therefore setting for second best will never be an option for him. A guy who will never compromise with his standards is not only attractive but surely lives up the word "man up"

 

3. Communicator (Prov 29:20)

"Good morning sexy! Musta poh keoz?" BOOM! You did surely get my attention but lost the opportunity from receiving a reply from me ever, like forever hahaha! Some guys know how to be sweet and I admire them for that. But please, please, please do NOT start a conversation like that and sound like a jejemon in an instant, hihi. I'm not saying this is bad but I appreciate (actually most girls will) someone who has a date and communication plan including the examination of the tone and manner on his text and chat messages. 

 

4. A Fighter (Rom 13:14)

With the generation that we're currently living in, it calls for more men who will stand and fight for purity and will not just go with what the culture is now teaching or telling us. This man should stand out, not blend in. In addition to that, this man should know how to guard and fight for a woman's heart. How is he whenever we are together? Is he with his phone or with me? Does he checks his Twitter, Instagram and Facebook account non-stop? Is he openly flirting with other girls, too? Sorry dear, but if he does then he will surely have an affair whenever we got married. Marriage is a great magnifier of what we have become, not of who can we become. So I think it is wise to choose a guy who's committed to be pure today so he can be rewarded of intimacy tomorrow.

 

5. Stable (Psa 62:2)

The last thing on earth I want to happen is marry someone who is moody, volatile and bipolar. Eeerp! Dependable and stable on his emotions should be one of his characteristics. A man who is not easily shaken are fitting assets of a potential husband. It is unavoidable that times of testing and breaking will surely come, so his attitude towards adversity will speak volume about his faith. And speaking of stable, he will not dilly dally in saving up. This man should realize that he is a provider of every sense of the word and should work both with his mind and hands.

 

6. A Student of the Word (Josh 1:8)

Real man only got bible as the final authority in his life. A devoted member of his ministry, a reputable small group leader, an active church member can surely score points, but at the end of the day, he should have fruits to back it up. I dig for characters because that is the true metrics of what he is made of and what he is inside.

 

7. Invests in Himself (1 Cor 6:19-20)

Someone who knows how to invest both physically and intellectually - hands down to you. Don't get me wrong, all of us should go for character but I'm a firm believer that someone who keeps himself intellectually stimulating and nice looking always gets the edge. Amen??? Amen!!!! Attractiveness is somewhat I believe in, that you already have within you; it's how you can do about with what you already have. So it ain't cool walking like a forty were in fact you're only thirty. I'm giving 10 macho-gwapito points for a guy who aims to develop a healthy lifestyle change. Someone who takes a proper skin care regimen or involve himself in sports, or takes time to jog/run and a well-dressed one and the same. Why not? Our body is bought at a high price and it is just right to go the extra mile in making and feeling good.

 

8. A Man of Prayer and Purpose (1 Chron 16:11)

If there is anything that we need to do on purpose, it should be praying; and being prayerful is no accident at all. One simple application: Does this guy knows how to lead a prayer? Because if not, then I assume he's not radical with his relationship with Jesus. With this being said, if he can't talk to me about Jesus, he won't be able to talk about Jesus with our future children.

 

9. A Leader and Disciple in One (Acts 6:1-4)

Major red flag for me is poor leadership. Speaking of this area, this is when he slacks off in his life as a disciple, too. How's his relationship with other people? Is he committed in obeying the word? How's his quiet time? If there are two simple inseparable things for me, it is leadership and discipleship. They always come together. As someone who will call the shots, it's extremely important to deeply know whose leadership will I follow. This guy should be passionate about authority and responsibility by following the leadership of One and Only Person that matters: Jesus.

 

10. Who Identifies Himself with Jesus (1 Cor 11:3)

If a guy finally gets to muster the courage to ask me out, here's one great bold question to ask on a first date "Do you love Jesus? How did you meet Him?" Well, it is indeed straightforward to ask but he surely needs to know that Jesus is the Middle Man in my life and The One in the middle of my marriage. Simply put, it makes no sense to waste time with someone who doesn't have the same goal.

 

At sa dami ng mga nasabi ko, here's one thing every man should know: A godly woman is worth the pursuit! Sure, a high standard life is ain't easy that's why there's a daily dose of His grace in order to make it possible (thank God for that). And at the end of the day, our faithful, loving, pro-marriage God NEVER fails to reward obedience.

CHRISTIAN DATING, COURTSHIP AND COURTING

on blog hopping to keep me awake, stumbled on this one called Desiring God. Too selfish not to share ☺ Enjoy!

STATUS:SINGLE

Sorry for the backlog, but this is a post of what happened on the Status:Single talk I went to two weeks (or was it 3 weeks already?) Pardon me that this took longer than expected to be put in writing, too many werk (work). But as the saying go “It’s better late than never” so with no further ado, here are some of the questions I managed (gulp!) to answer in the most appropriate way that I could think of that time.

 

Just an overview, Status:Single is a one night event that ran for 3 hours were the participants are single men and women ages 18-40 years old. Until now, I couldn’t believe why a good friend of mine asked me to give my 2 cents on the topic. First, I am not knowledgeable in subject, thus which makes me less confident to talk in front of the crowd that I haven’t met yet. Second, my life’s experiences though it was all sum up – still it will not be enough for me to get certified and do my talk. When I first got the invitation, I was really, really diffident! I don’t have any hosting gig (fine, I mean hosting this kind of event) and my comprehension in the Bible is not that solid compared to those who work in the ministry. Yes, I do read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and do my own studies but I still lack the familiarity needed. Whenever I sit down and listen to those preachers, I’m always left in awe because they really know and did study the words of God! I wanted to be like that, because it’s happy to know and reveal the words of God ensuring how much He loves us.

I did share some insights which was actually found in my previous entries (Christian Courting, Single and Ready to Mingle and The One). The highlight was the question and answer portion, which I find very pageant like. Hehe! I’m sharing some of the questions I got.

 

“What is your thought on first kiss or kiss is acceptable while still dating?” / “What is your take on kissing before marriage?”

Jam: As guy, it is really hard to control your emotion especially if you are head over heels in love with your girlfriend. It is more of respect, really. If she doesn’t want to be kissed yet – respect her and don’t let this be the reason why your love for her will be lessen.

 

Lexi: In Genesis, Jacob kissed Rachel and Rachel wept. We do not know where exactly he kissed her. In my own POV, peck on the cheek will be okay but kiss on the lips while not yet married is not strongly recommended. Because if you do, you might be comfortable with one another and this may open the doors leading to temptation. As what Galatians 5:16 “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” So pray and avoid staying late or in one room. Okay? Besides, you may want to feel the excitement when the priest says “You may now kiss the bride.”

 

“If the guy is not clear on his actions, should we avoid them until they speak up?”

Jam: The challenges of most guys are the guts they need to collect before they can talk to the girl. Even if we know and 100% sure that the girl likes us too, still that is not a guarantee that we will say it right away. Most of the time, we want to spend time first and be friends with her and know her better. So be patient if your object of affection is not yet telling you what he means but just throwing you tell-tale signs how he likes you. Hintay lang ng konti, baka torpe rin katulad ko. Hehe!

 

Lexi: First, I want to protest on Jam’s take of himself that he is torpe. Parang hindi naman. Hehe. I guess there is nothing wrong if you will avoid the person for the interim. I did it myself because I don’t want further confusions; when you do that make sure that you use the time to pray for clarification, guidance and patience ha? Not to complicate things up ha?

 

“What is the acceptable length of courtship?”

Jam: There is no such thing as “long” or “short” in pursuing the girl you like. In my humble opinion, if you are clear with your intentions, then this will not be an issue bro. Like what Lexi mentioned earlier about Jacob and Rachel, in addition to that, Jacob did serve Rachel’s family for 7 years. Imagine, 7 years and that’s solid courtship.

 

Lexi: May timetable talaga? Ano ito may metered taxi na naghihintay? For me, it doesn’t matter if it will take 1 year or less. I guess, the real point of courtship is getting to know if you will help one another especially in spiritual aspect.

 

“Pag may nanliligaw na sa iyo, okay lang ba na mag entertain pa rin ng ibang nanliligaw?”

 

Jam: I think I will leave the floor to Lexi to answer. But in my judgment, okay lang siguro, a little competition is healthy.

Lexi: I don’t see anything wrong with this naman, as long as wala ka naman “solid” na sinabihan na exclusively lang kayo until mag date kayo, then that is fine. But I have to warn you that this is not easy, but it can be a little complicated at times. You need to make sure how you treat one from another, meaning dapat pantay-pantay ha? Kasi if not, then it will give meaning to the other and he may even take it in a way na naka-bakod na siya. Ingat kasi you don’t want to give the impression na you’re in the playing field.

 

“Is religion an important thing in a relationship?”

Jam: For me, as long as both of you grow individually, it’s perfectly fine. After all, there is no rule as far as I know that Christians cannot date non-Christians and vice-versa. But if your dating leads to courtship, which actually was your main goal, then ibang usapan na yan.

 

Lexi: I came and grew up in a family with different religions. My Dad is a Christian while my Mom is a Catholic. I guess, this is one of a few cases na never nagging issue ang religion. With regard to what Jam said, it’s a tough decision if it will lead to marriage. But from what I can see, based on my friends who got married, they followed their groom-to-be’s and was converted. I don’t see anything wrong with that, as far as I know, the Bible tells us about this. Ephesians 5:22 “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”

 

Quotable Quotes worth sharing

“being single means you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”

 

“there’s a purpose to every failed relationship, the purpose isn’t to encourage you to lower your expectations, but to raise your standards.”
 

“love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.”

 

“significant other – non-committed, yet shows absolute interest in someone.”

THE ONE

This series Christian Courting is not written to be an avenue to highlight the flaws that is not visible to our dear naked eyes. If you want to read the first 2 entries, please feel free to click this and this :)

Once you find “the one”, don’t ever let it go. If “the one” is in the hands of another, play it cool and pretend you don’t like it. Because once you show the other how much you’re dying to get “the one”, the other would see it’s value and will no longer take it for granted.

I read that remark from a fashion blogger on her thoughts about the cardigan she almost didn't end up buying because it's on the hands of another shopper. But if you will pay attention to what she'd said, it will make sense that it is applicable to your lovelife, too.

 

I'm not sure if you are familiar with this book (but I'm hoping yes),  Boy meets Girl by Joshua Harris but I strongly suggest that you may want to read this during/before the courtship stage. Courtship never stops even if you guys are already a couple. What I'd read was the old edition and there is an updated version of the book including this BONUS (Naks! Parang CD lang eh noh?! Hehe)

 

 

 

Lucky for those [of you] that they haven't had experience how it feels to be broken hearted. Whatever you may have in the past, leave that as it is and continue doing what is right. You have come far enough to regress and just keep on going instead. Don't let the little pebbles along the way trip you. There are far more than what you can imagine if you will just keep moving forward while nonchalantly shrugging those distractions from the past.

 

It seems hard to discuss this next part through words, but let the picture somehow gives justice and you'll get the idea of what my point is. Imagine that each of the puzzles has the name written of the person you had a relationship with in the past.

  

Every person whom you had a relationship with, you did give them a portion of your heart. While in the hunt of your so-called "The One" you will keep on giving and giving little pieces of your heart one after the other relationship that does not work until one day, your heart will be too small and fragile leaving you doubtful if you can still manage to give the last small piece left. Questions that will linger in your mind may be similar to these:

 

Will it be unfair to this person that he/she will only get a little piece from you?

 

Can you still give the remaining piece left?

 

Is it okay for your "The One" to receive that little piece in return of his/her whole heart to be given to you? And I guarantee you the answer YES (Why I'm 100% sure of this? You will know later)

 

These maybe some of the queries you have in mind, but are you ready for the responsibilities of being someone's GG (God's Gift)

 

But how will you be ready if you know for a fact that there are inquiries which actually slows or worse hinders you from reaching your goal? We have different stories to tell, these pains/experience definitely made you different at one point and some even shut their doors in finding their one true love. The choice is up to you. If you are ready, GO! Green light is ON! If not yet, then don't rush. Just wait for the right time, it will always be in His time so no need to rush.

 

Now the question you may have now is "Will I still be able to give my whole heart even if this is the only chunk left?" Of course! The answer is YES. With God's unfailing, divine and merciful love, you are already whole again. Even if you don't ask Him, He exactly knew that, that's why He gave you the opportunity to love and gave you the chance to be loved back. Isn't it amazing?

 

 

 

 

With all these being said, are you excited to meet your GG? Then I'll have 3 things to share before you meet your "The One"

1) Jesus is the ONE. Sadly but don't be fooled by "You complete me" phrases because you are indeed complete already. Your idea of meeting your "the one" already happened and you are on your way of meeting your "Second One". That's why I am that 100% sure that it's perfectly fine with Him if your heart is no longer whole.

2) Let the ONE lead you to your Second One. Because allowing Him to do His work on you, you will never had a bad relationship again. It may not be your perfect kind of relationship (with no fights, whatsoever) but it will be something you'll definitely thank HIM.
 

3) Being in a season of singlehood is the BEST time to know your The ONE more. Use this time to work on your "relationship" with the ONE.

Then how will you know that you are ready to jump into the next level?
 

Adjust on what he can offer. Ladies, I know that you always have this pre-conceive notion towards guys that will always pay the tab, he should make it a little more extra special with extra effort on top? My point is, don't be demanding. If you are okay with fishball, siomai or kwek-kwek with gulaman plus isaw on the side, then congratulations girl because you are one step ready in being in a relationship.

Be your partner's number 1 support. Show your significant other how supportive you are but please, do not overdo it to the extent na dinaig mo pa ang nanay niya ha? Letting the other party know and feel that you understand him/her is more than enough to show how much you care.
 

Contradict and point out one's mistake (in a subtle way). I am not suggesting that you fight for the sake of "fighting" to put some spice in your relationship. NO, NO! If your partner is showing signs that is worrisome, say temper issue or unacceptable behavior for starting a fight with you, cut him/her short right away. But again, do this in a subtle way and not condescending tone.


A few reminders:

You must continue to LOVE God more than anything else, that means God first before your GG.

Pray together but set a praying time alone, too.

Be each other's reason why you will fall in love with Jesus even more.

Respect one another's values and differences.

Above all, enjoy and have fun knowing one another as you get to know more Jesus.




SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE

This is the second part for the series Christian Courting. Part 1 is on this link if you want to read it first :)

If you are single and have not married yet, He will lead you to the mate that He will want you to marry if it is in His perfect will that you get married in this life.

And once those boundary lines start to go up – one of the first things that God will do is to decide who is going to be coming into those boundary lines and who will be going out.

In other words, God will be deciding who your true friends are going to be in this life and who will not.

The main reason God will be helping you to choose who your true friends are going to be in this life is because His ultimate and highest aim for you is to transform and sanctify you.

In other words, He wants you to spiritually grow and mature in your walk with Him.

I read it somewhere on the web which I apologize for not remembering where, thus I can't put the link.

Let's take a break first and I want to give my two cents about how can you assess if you are in love or what. What you're feeling is just something popularly known as "infatuation" perhaps? Having these conversations with hashtag #mattersoftheheart or #harshtag may seem a little trivial for me until today. I am no expert in the dating field; there are some guys like "eligible guys" but saying no from their invites (coffee, lunch, movie, dinner) is something that I would not regret doing. You don't push yourself if you are not yet ready to go out again, this will be unfair to the guy who asked you out. I don't mind if I am single for the loooongest time (read LOOOONG) because my goal to be in a relationship is not to end the boredom of being alone (Hey! I'm not even bored) BUT to help the person grow with his faith in God is my ultimate goal. Next will be: being his constant source of craziness and wackiness on a daily basis, number 1 supporter when all else fail and be the number 1 cheerer to lift him up if something bad comes up at work. These reason is not for myself but for the person I will be choosing, since you need to be selfless and not selfish if you are absolutely ready.

How will you gauge your readiness to meet the potential GG (God's Gift)?

Goal - I guess in whatever we do, we have a base and main goal, right? At the early stage of dating, then set a base goal first. That is to meet the right person that you want to be in a relationship with. Does the person met your non-negotiable qualities, if any? Is he/she will lead you closer to Jesus and is he a Christ-centered individual? Don't get into a relationship if you don't think of marriage in the future. You both are just wasting your time. Go back to your goal-setting first before making any move.

Selfless - Definitely, you have your own reasons why you want to meet and greet potential GG right? But are you doing this for your own sake? Peer pressure?

Don't believe in SIGNS - I'm not a believer of signs. Don't put your faith on signs. If you will read the first few parts of the verse below in the Bible, you will realize that these signs we hold on to (sometimes) are just the byproduct of our own minds. We tend to conceptualize and whatever we see, we take it as a sign itself even if it's not.

Exodus 3:11-13 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you:
When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”

I would agree on showing "signs" to the person you fancy if he/she fancies you, too. It's more of reciprocating [is define by Merriam as: to give and take something mutually] to the actions of the other party which obviously you are both aware of. However, if you don't mutually feel the same in giving your response, then PLEASE do not do so. You are ready to mingle, not single and ready to flirt, ok?

Signs can be born in your mind because you are creating a scenario that you want to happen based on these signs. If we see something, we giddily jump into that conclusion that "this is it!" not knowing it can be just a product of our vivid imagination. If you believe in signs anyways, it will be up to you :) Again, this is my POV and I don't condemn those who believe in signs, magic or anythng in between :) We live in a free country, so feel free anyway! Ayos ba mga repapips? Hehe.

Ladies and gents, this is not the phase wherein you will "collect and select" this is so, sooo not acceptable because that is not so Christian! Don't even think of practising it for the sake of having a vast collection of your potentials. If you will just have to pray for that "someone" whom you want to go with to the next level, then stand up to your actions. Pray for both of you. After all, your goal is not to be the MVP in the playing field, so delete this thought from your system.

Now, it's time for you to make a mental list or note on what specifics will you be looking for in meeting that PGG (Potential God's Gift)

Physically - Do you want a tall or petite? Skinny, sexy, chubby? And the list goes on.

Emotionally - Will this person be emotionally strong enough for you as you will be for him/her?

Spiritually - Do you think that both of you has the same drive and passion in growing your faith with God?

Background - Know the person's background.

It wouldn't hurt to get to know the person a little further. Observe how he/she treats her family members, friends and even strangers (fastfood crew, cab driver, etc.) You will have a better understanding how his/her temper switches.

Does he/she make a good influence in the society? Does he/she tries to BI (bad influence) you if you are caught up between something?

If you are sure that you are ready and sure of everything, then it's about time to start working in meeting your PGG. 

Photos from my old entry about BLESSINGS

I MISS THE OLD WAY

I miss the days when we have that analog kind of courtship.

 

Courtship really involves a lot of risk. Those days were home-based phone are "uso" and the guy will muster his guts to call the girl with the thought of the father's grilling may happen with 80% chance of happening. After a couple of minutes of polite conversation with lots of "po" and "opo" the poor boy with beads of sweat will finally say "May I speak to your daughter?"

 

Thankful for the birth of pagers. We managed to find ways to send a message first before calling to make sure that we are one step free from gate keepers that may answer our phone call especially those suitors who had always been grilled everytime he calls you. The relief he may feel that he has the mean to pass-by any gate keepers (mother, father, portective older brothers). But even though it was a direct means of reaching the girl you fancied, paging still involved effort. All that memorization of pager numbers. All that repetitive dictation to operators who weren’t all that fluent in English. Not only did they have to listen to thousands of lovesick teenage boys spill their guts to the object of their desire, but they sometimes got the message garbled, and often in embarrassing ways (a pre-cursor to auto correct?).

 

Courtship nowadays involves all-too-direct text messages, and impersonal, all-too-convenient chat applications (WeChat, Line, Kakao Talk, BBM, etc.). How easy, how effortless, how un-risky. How blah.

Mix tapes with the ever famous Side An and B with a few silence in between songs. Then a couple of years later, CD burn replaced it which is a lot easier. Nowadays, nothing beats Youtube wherein you can directly copy and paste the link you may want to share to your object of affection.

Copy, paste, and voila! You are done. That's how modern the way of courtship is nowadays....

 

I miss the days of analog romance.

CHRISTIAN COURTING

Finally! After a year (You can read it here.) I'm writing something about Christian Courting. From the previous posts I had, I admittedly mentioned that I am not in the position to write something about this for one reason: I am not dating, yet.

 

There are no rules, I would say but it is more of respect. Respect for each other's feelings. Don't you want to make everything clear for both of you so it will be less of a hassle and less complicated? It's a tough course of action whenever you are mustering the guts on how you will tell a girl that you like her and have plans to pursue her because she is worth pursuing. Maybe to further elaborate this, I strongly suggest that you may want to read this link instead, and there are links that will be helpful, too!

 

As a Christian girl's POV, I'd rather hear what the boy (what a term!) would want from me. Why are you asking me for coffee or you just simply want to hang out during our free time? Why would you want to drive me home ensuring my safety? (Well, I'm thankful for this gesture because safety is something I cannot exchange for hiya especially if we will be coming from Eastwood or somewhere pretty far from where I live. Aba! Nag offer naman, so go na diba? Choosy pa ba? Haha! Those nonstop conversation you always have (from Good Morning to Good Night) despite the busy schedules you both have, you still inject the time to text/call each other daily. Well, I don't call (by the way) because I want to leave that to the guy for one reason, I don't want to bother anyone :) it's more of being reserve, if that's the right term for that.

 

Another thing for the gents is meeting the girl's family, like hello? Considering that you guys are "friends lang" stage eventhough the treatment you are giving is somehow doubtful at times, then why are you doing it? Have you thought of this at one point, like if you are doing it more often than not then the action you're doing is telling the girl something, yet it's confusing her because there is no a solid justification as to why you're doing that.

 

If all these are consistent between a lady and a gent, then how will you justify the actions then? Is it really "friends lang stage" or buti sana if ma-label pa yan in the long run. What is my point? Set it up straight, after all you are the man and you have the accountability to say what you want to tell to the woman you're spending all these effort for. I'm not saying you take full accountability, because it will always be a teamwork if you both decided to take it to the next level. If the girl says NO, then respect the decision she has for you, but if you got a validation that you can court her, then your work is about to begin and mind you: there will be a LOT of work that needs to be done.

 

I'm no expert, but I'm neither dense nor numb for me not to be able to understand the actions from the opposite sex. In a lighter way to put it into writing, WE as women - we just have to wait. Sorry gents!! But yes, we cannot ASSUME unless otherwise STATED, right? We don't want to get comments from you guys that we are "feelingera" or assuming even if the actions you are doing is clear on us. Still, we will not think that it is really what you mean regardless how OBVIOUS it is.

 

This set-up is really risky, and it will lead doors for chaos in the future. Chaos talaga? Lol. But seriously, guys has the tendency to make "bakod" and you will all act so jealous when the girl started entertaining or at least being friends with another guy. Again, the girl does not have the faintest clue of what you feel for her, maybe, just maybe she thinks that based on your actions, you are being nice to her or you are just a gentleman :) Nothing more, nothing less. If this happens, then there lies the problem. Again, magulo na. Since there is no label between the two of you of what the real status is. Ayan, buti sana if ma-label pa pag magulo na. When this happens, I'm sure that one of you (or both) will get hurt since there is already feelings involve. Sometimes, being quiet will definitely not resolve the situation but worsen it.

 

Don't ask me how to deal with this kind of situation because I really don't know. First, I am not confrontational thus, asking the guy what he meant with his actions to clarify the kind of "relationship" you both have at the moment will never happen. Are you guys are: just friends, special friends, MU (Magulong Usapan, lol! Mutual Understanding), or simply "wala lang".

 

Then how to resolve the issue, then?

 

Let's put it this way...

 

I just have 2 requirements if I will ever date someone. (1) He must be a Christian. (2) He is not married. If one is not present, ay instant off-limits na yan! What I'm pointing is, I don't want to settle for the "pwede na yan" since each and everyone of us has a price that God paid. If God doesn't love you, then you will not be free from the sins. With his undying love, He had prepared a partner for you. So pray for him/her, discern and if you need to fast then so be it - do it. Praying and Fasting really works, but just a few notes in fasting: it is not as simple as abstaining from food, but there can be a lot of ways to fast (giving up something in order to use the time in praying more) And if you do so, keep it to yourself :) the reason why you fast is for you to pray for what your heart is seeking. There is no set timeframe as to when will this run, in the Bible there are a lot of stories about fasting with as short as 3 days and as long as 40 days. It is up to you, talk to God and I'm sure He will reveal it to you if He is leading you to prayer and fasting.

 

Why do I want to choose a Christian rather than a non-believer? The answer is simple, because I love God more than him (whoever that man will be) and I'm praying that he loves God more than me as well, para MU haha! Mutual Understanding that it will be God first before everything else.

 

I had this conversation with my Mom over breakfast earlier (uhmm that was my 2nd breakfast for the day because I had 3 haha!) that it will be best to end up with someone from the church. Basically for one reason, so both of you understand your service for God. Another thing is, it is a lot happier to be with someone who shares the same values and passion with you. No more explanation like "I can't go out with you on that day because we have ___ (insert your church activity here)" It will be a lot nicer if you both serve God together, I just find it more nakaka-kilig! Bonus na if you will come from the same church, though I'm not closing my door for someone who is not from the same church I go to. What matters to me is, both of you serve the same God. Though I may say, this is a bit challenging (if this is the right term) because you have differences, thus it will open room for exchanging of thoughts, POVs, etc. But don't get me wrong, I am born Catholic yet I have friends who are Christians. The point is, it's not religion that matters, as long as you share the same values, teachings and learning - there's no harm that I can foresee coming then.

 

In a nutshell, the person whom you will call "The Second One" since God will always be your "The One" dapat, he/she will be the reason for you to fall in love with Jesus even more everyday. While I'm writing that part, I have thought of someone who was the reason why I fell in love with Jesus because of the time he made me to spend more time with God. Thank you! And yes, that's you :)

 

I'm probably been blabbing pretty long now, so I'm capping this post. I'll just have to write another part of this topic hopefully early next week. But for now, I will leave this with you:

 

If you think only for your own benefits why you want to be in a relationship (sex, companion, etc.) then you are doing it wrong. It should be a selfless reason like you want to be with the person to help him/her grow, support him/her on whatever weakness may arise, and most of all - be the person's PRAYER WARRIOR (Coming from personal experience, and I'm not shy to admit it publicly)

 

P.S: Didn't mean to overuse the word "action" for this post :)