I AM SELFISH

Blame the weird concoction of siewmai (siomai, yes I know it was indeed spell creatively), kaya toast and coffee that it gave me the realization I badly needed.

A couple of days ago, I was having this conversation with a friend whom actually I wasn’t ranting to but more of telling that I have other plans for my career.

It wasn’t a habit that I always ask for myself. I grew up being contented with what I have, as the saying goes “Live by your means” which I have to agree that this should be practice by each individual. “Pray before you pay” must be your catchphrase every time you open your wallet or even before you swipe that card.

I can’t even remember an instance that I asked HiM for something material like expensive gadget or a luxurious tour to Paris so I can see how beautiful Eiffel Tower is despite me dying to see it since I’ve realized how much of a beautiful infrastructure it is. I’m pretty much happy that I got a collection with anything Eiffel on it.

For years, I have been praying for a career break. Selfish, eh? But never had it crossed my mind why it wasn’t given to me notwithstanding the fact that this is the first time I’m actually asking something for myself. Probably, I was too blinded that it is not meant for me and yet I keep on pushing my luck. Sounds pathetic but yes, that’s how badly I want to have it.

It took me months before I get to appreciate why it wasn’t given to me and I thank my friend for thinking and analyzing it on my behalf.

Wherever God puts You, there’s a reason for it. All you have to do is trust HiS will.