Death – what most of us fear of coming across…
We don’t know what will happen once we are born to eternal life, will we experience eternal happiness or second death which is forever pain and suffering? I guess no one would like to experience dying after he had died.
Until this moment, I can’t believe that I would like to write about my Dad’s interment. Just the thought of seeing a casket haunts me and I cannot imagine that I will do the whole thing myself in choosing everything for the funeral. I keep on telling myself that "I’m just used to choosing a shirt for him, not a casket or any of this." I need to be brave – make sure that I’m still on my sanity when making decisions. How can you possibly think and decide if you are not eating and sleeping? All is like a reverie to me during those times and I must admit that until now, there were times I wish this is just a stupor.
Letting go of my Dad was the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with. Many times he told us that he is ready to be with God, to live in an eternal life with our creator. He must be brave, he really is. From the battle we faced for quite a long time, positivity is still with him. Never in an instance he questioned God, "Why me?" "Why do I have to suffer this despite me being your follower?" But what you can hear from him are stories from the bible how lucky he is compared to a character [in the bible] that suffered much because he got sick and was really in pain.
I surely miss him, I really do. Every single breakfast we shared was full of stories of me as his daughter. He never shouts at us nor hit us so we will know we had committed a mistake. He will softly discuss with us our wrongdoings. I will long for his hugs and kisses every afternoon whenever I wake up and get ready for work. How he greets me "Good Morning" in the evening, how he says "Thank You" whenever I say "Dad I got something for you" though he haven’t seen it yet, he will thank me right away.
The sweetest Dad I could ever wish to have when I’ll be reborn. How he sacrificed just to give us a better life. He sent us to decent schools to finish our studies, how he surprised us with postcards of countries he visited with encouraging notes so we’ll study harder. Imagine, three months of waking up by seeing nothing but endless vision of ocean every single day. He did it for us, for his family yet never once he complained.
Maybe our parents keep on telling us that the best gift they can give us is education. For me, it’s just secondary. Because the real gift my Dad ever gave me is how to call for HiS name and be closer to our Lord Jesus. To trust HiS will despite the situation when we almost give up.
When the balloons and doves flew and right after we clapped our hands, it came into my senses that this is real. That I have no chance of waking up on this bad dream, that I was left with one and only choice – ACCEPT.
Right now, we miss him so badly. But God has plans for us, now my Dad is in a place where there is no more pains and sufferings. In HiS time, we will be together again, but for now we will live without him physically but in our thoughts and prayers – he is still with us.
If I’ll be born again and will have the option to choose a family between with what I have right now or to have a princess like life, still I will choose this family; choose him as my Dad even if the same story will be told again.
For more photos of the interment, kindly click HERE
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