BRUISES

If being a maladroit is not new to you, then you can definitely relate what we meant by “bruise” I, myself have tripped over a hundred times and had my fair share of different ways how I ended up getting one. Not on a daily basis but several times a month, that’s me! (I’m not proud of course)

However, not all bruises can be cured by frozen strawberries and some will take like forever (or am I just exaggerating?) to get healed again.

What is taking you long to get these removed from your system? Time? Effort? I honestly don’t know.

Maybe a help from someone who will let you realize that it’s okay to say goodbye to what haunts you? Or it will be yourself that will have to help your own self to get over this stage.

Technically, different people have their own ways in dealing hurdles in their life. Me, I just shut my mouth and hoping it will pass. Yeah, I’m not confrontational, I’m pretty much mum on things like this. We have no control of whom we will let come into our lives, hence we will not be able to sift through who are the people who can actually hurt us someday.

I have always respected those that are way strong and yet remain standing despite any storm came their way.

A time machine is what I actually saving up for, kidding of course. But given a chance, I want to go back to what am I 5 years ago. Someone who needs help to cheer me up that I can go on and don’t be afraid to try because if it wasn’t successful, then I’ll always have a safety net ready to catch me.

Too bad that I didn’t get to export my old blog here, though I was rummaging through old files, I read an entry sometime in early 2000s, and this is the excerpt:

“Hardship, trials whatever you may want to call it now. Let it be, for I have been bleeding like forever and now I am in deep pain that I can no longer distinguish what’s a good feeling from not. I don’t think that I will be meant to love and be loved in return. I guess, my sole purpose here on earth is to serve my loved ones.

But why my fate will be like that? Should I allow such chance be on me? Merely thinking of the consequences seems to bring a gush of blood in my throat wanting me to puke until I bleed no more. Blood, wounds and what else in between of this pain is so tolerable because as long as I’m breathing, then I’m near to dying. The more steps I take towards the end of the tunnel, the more I should look forward to my own death. The more I say to myself I’ve failed, the more I want to get out of this mess.

How can you bring yourself out from a place where devils are just at your side? How can you fight the temptation that the world offers for it gives you alluring things and anytime you can grab it? How, how, how?

Needless to say how painful that my heart can no longer contain, it is indeed broken into a million pieces making it to fully stop from functioning.

Cold and painless me is now the by-product of these whirlwind events. I wanted to punch you until you bleed, but why will I let it to happen and get my hands dirty in the eyes of God?”

No knight in shining armour is on he’s way to make my views in life change in a snap of a finger.

But this is more than a proof that “No Man is an Island” and I knew that since forever. 

Now when I was thinking about giving another shot, I re-read this one.